8 Ways You and Your Fiancé can Make Your Wedding Planning Experience a Forever Memory
Getting engaged and planning your wedding should be one of the happiest and most exciting times in your life. However, planning a wedding is kind of stressful and a little bit overwhelming. And we all know what happens when we are stressed and overwhelmed; we go from happy to miserable in about three seconds flat, and we turn into scary monsters. I’d call it bridezilla, but that term so much better used elsewhere. I do have another “B” word I could use, though, if you get my drift. If we all planned our weddings before we were engaged, most of us would not be engaged if that gives you any indication how stressful this activity actually is. Guess what newly engaged couples? You are going to fight. You are going to argue; but not just about wedding planning you are going to do this throughout life. So now is as good a time as any to learn how to keep the peace and make sure that you don’t go too crazy arguing while planning. We have some advice that will keep the two of you happy, making memories that will last forever, and working as a team.
Go On a Wedding-Free Date Night
One of the most important things you can do to keep the peace while planning your wedding is go on a date night that does not involve doing any wedding talking or planning. Instead, talk about something else. Talk about all the babies you want to have after the wedding. Talk about work. Talk about what you want to do next weekend or what movie you want to see or your new book that has you so excited. Talk about the weather; I don’t care. Talk about anything and everything other than wedding planning. I don’t even care if you have to talk about the next oil change your car needs; do not talk wedding. You need a break, and according to my husband, so does he.
Don’t Talk Wedding All the Time
We get it. It’s hard not to talk about the wedding all the time. But try. Set aside planning time or wedding talk time so you can get it all taken care of, but do not let this talk consume your life. Have a life, get a life and get a hobby that takes your mind off wedding planning. Do something that does not involve wedding talk. Only talk weddings on Tuesdsays; don’t care, just don’t talk about it 24/7.
Don't be Afraid to Spend Some Time Apart
Sometimes you need to do things apart to keep the peace. The same goes for the rest of your life. Trust me; my husband and I have more fun together than with anyone else, but sometimes I just need a few hours to get a pedi and brunch with the girls and he with the guys (though there are far fewer pedis for him…and by far fewer I mean none). Sometimes you need an hour to go shopping on your own, or to read a book or to sit on the back porch with a glass of wine or a cup of tea or something so that you can unwind. Planning a wedding requires a lot more time spent together doing things that neither of you might find all that entertaining, so get out and do something wonderful every so often so you can do something entertaining.
Keep Up with Your Lives
Don’t neglect your friends and your families to plan the wedding. Go ahead and make dates with them. Have dinner parties, invite them to dinner and a movie. Go on trips. Live your life. What did you do on Sunday mornings before you were engaged and planning your wedding? Did you get up, enjoy breakfast and then head to church together? Why stop now? Keep doing those things. Your life is still your life, and when the wedding planning is over, it’s going to suck to come home and realize that you have nothing left outside of the planning anymore because you gave it all up. Don’t let it let you forget to live your life.
Go on an "Engaged"-cation
There is absolutely nothing quite like going on a vacation before your wedding. It’s like a babymoon for your wedding. Call it a pre-honeymoon, if you will. Getting away from the stress of planning can make life a lot more enjoyable, and it can give you the time you need away from the everyday life and drama of wedding planning and real life. Go somewhere for a few days one weekend to unwind and escape reality. You will find that you still do remember how to enjoy one another and that life is actually nice when you’re not tethered to planning or yard work or whatever else is on your mind.
Plan Your Marriage
Instead of talking place settings and seating arrangements, let’s talk marriage. Instead of talking about the wedding, talk about the marriage. What do you want out of your marriage? What’s important to you and what’s important to him? What are your expectations of your marriage? What do you envision in five years or ten years? Where do you see yourselves retiring? There are so many things that are far more important than table linens and appetizers. Talk about those for once. It will remind you, in the stress of wedding planning, that there are things far more important to look forward to.
Talk About It
If you have a problem, talk about it. If you are mad at him because you want more help planning, tell him. If he’s mad at you because you won’t
shut up stop talking about all things flower-related, give him a chance to tell you. Don’t just accept it, fume and let problems get bigger. You’re going to annoy one another and disagree as the planning continues, so go ahead and talk it through right now. Don’t wait. Talk about it when it becomes a problem. This is good practice for your married life, you know. If you wait to talk about your problems, or you try to ignore them, they’ll only get worse. Talk about it, resolve it, hear one another and then let it go once it’s resolved.
Be a Team
The purpose of being married is being a team. You guys need to remember this when planning your wedding. You’re going to be pulled in all different directions by people, and you need to remember that your partner in all this is your spouse-to-be. Not your mom or your dad or your sister. Don’t let him forget that you are his teammate when his mom wants him to tell you that you have to let her invite her work friends or whomever you both already decided was a no-go. Make sure he remembers that you are his teammate so he can stop this behavior before it becomes a thing. And you have to do the same. If you both decide your mom can’t invite her boyfriend of a week to the wedding and she confronts you about it, make sure you remember who your teammate is, and stick with your team. Well-meaning individuals will try to get what they want out of your wedding by talking to each of you individually and using their influence; don’t let it happen. You are a team – act like one. It’s something you’re going to do forever and always, and your team is only as strong as your weakest player.