Honeymoon Registries: Tasteful or Tacky?
Tasteful or tacky? It’s the question many couples ask as they consider their wedding registries. In particular, couples that have lived together for many years might wonder whether or not they need to register given the fact that they already have dishes and towels and oven mitts. So, in the midst of wondering whatever to do, couples come across the honeymoon registry. This is the registry that allows you to let guests choose to buy a portion of your honeymoon, from your plane tickets to your room, to upgraded suites to couples massages. In theory, it’s genius. In real life, it’s questionable.
Some people consider the honeymoon registry tacky. It’s almost like asking guests just to give them cash. In fact, some guests think that you might as well write on your invitation, “No gifts, just cash, please,” and call it a day because it’s just as inappropriate to ask guests to buy massages and champagne and hotel rooms for your honeymoon. So, if people think that this is tacky, why is it so popular?
Getting Married Later in Life Means Creates a Shift in What Couples Need vs. Want
According to wedding experts, the rise in popularity of the honeymoon registry can be attributed to the fact that more couples than ever before are waiting to make the walk down the aisle until they’re much older. They’re established and they don’t need new cutlery. Instead, they choose to let guests know what they do want, which is a memorable honeymoon.
The simple fact of the matter is that honeymoon registries are not everyone’s taste. However, they’re not mandatory. If a couple decides to register for their honeymoon, it’s not a requirement that you buy them a massage or a luxe dinner. You can simply write a check, stick it in a card and call it a day. Guests have been giving cash in lieu of wedding gifts for quite some time, and we all know that couples are taking it with them on their honeymoon. Really, it’s all the same.
Sometimes Compromising is Worth Making Your Guests Feel More Comfortable
When in doubt about appropriate wedding etiquette, just ask Anna Post. Anna, who helped to author the book, “Emily Post Etiquette, 18th Edition,” suggests that couples go forth with the honeymoon registry in addition to a traditional registry. The purpose of two registries is to make guests feel more comfortable (I know what you’re thinking, “but this is MY day,”). Believe it or not, some guests will simply decline a wedding invitation if they’re uncomfortable with the gift purchasing process. Older generations, for example, are not really familiar or comfortable with the idea of online registries and giving, and prefer to head to a nice department store to purchase a set of bake ware (it’s like Anna Post knows my mother, who is not going to appreciate being categorized as the older generation).
At the end of the day, the honeymoon registry’s tacky or tasteful opinion is strictly personal. And with that said, it’s important to remember that no matter what you do at your wedding, you’re going to have some criticism or rolled eyes behind your back; you can’t please everyone! But with major brands such as the Ritz-Carlton getting in on the honeymoon registry act, it seems this trend is more acceptable today than not.
According to Post, however, you never, ever, under any circumstances (never, ever, ever….in the words of Taylor Swift) include your registry information on your wedding invitation. Instead, create a wedding website that directs your guests to your registry information and place the website on your invitation (it seems Post forgot about those internet-virgins from the older generation with this bit of advice). Or just tell people where you’re registered.
Make Your Decision, Don't Stress, and Enjoy the Day!
When it’s all said and done, what you registered for, where you registered, and what people gave you is not what’s important. What’s important is that your DJ or band plays awesome music so that your guests get up and dance the night away so that everyone takes home an amazing memory of your special day. It’s also important that you don’t place Great Aunt Sally too close to the open bar; you know how she gets after one too many white wine spritzers...