Five Things to Avoid After Getting Engaged
The holidays are over and you are among the newly engaged! Congratulations! The holidays are a big time of year for engagements, and many people begin the new year wearing a beautiful new ring and a new title, ‘Bride-to-be.’ It’s a great feeling to know that your life as you know it is forever about to change. And while there are so many different rules about weddings and engagements and etiquette floating around that you are probably so tired of hearing it all, we have just a little bit more for you. You’re going to hear time and time again while you plan your wedding that you have to do this and you have to do that and you have to do X, Y and Z. The truth is that you do have to do a lot, some you can ignore and other advice is just plain old crazy and you will not know quite what to do with it. What you don’t hear as often, however, is what not to do. You hear that once you get engaged you have to start on this and that, but what aren’t you supposed to do after you get engaged? The answers, my friends, are very simple.
Don’t Interrupt the Engagement Moment to Call Everyone
You know you want to call your mom and your best friend, but don’t. Give it a few minutes. If you’re honest and you sit back for a moment and really think about this moment in your life, what do you realize? You realize that the man you love (hopefully, because otherwise you have much bigger problems than calling your mom) just executed a moment in his life that he will remember forever, that he stressed and agonized about for probably months (weeks at least) and that there was a tiny part of him that, despite his overwhelming confidence in your love for him, worried you might actually say no. He’s stressed, relieved, happy and excited; just like you. And now he wants you to be his for just a few moments. He wants to celebrate this moment with you and you alone. Not your screaming mother and besties. He wants your attention, not to become someone who is just in the background as you drone on and one for hours about just how it happened, when and where and wedding plans. He just wants you. So maybe wait until he showers to call your mom.
Don’t Announce a Date or Order Anything
We have some news for you; weddings are hard work. And sometimes you don’t always get what you want (a lesson I’m sure you’ve never encountered in your entire life, right?). Sometimes you want to get married at a specific venue and that venue is booked on the date you want to wed. Sometimes you have to choose a new date or a new venue. Sometimes it takes a few days or even weeks to choose both because you’re so uncertain you’ll ever find a place available anywhere near the time you want to wed. Sometimes you simply can’t have exactly what you want and you have to make do with a backup plan. So if you go forth announcing that you’re getting married on this date and then find out that your dream venue is not available on that date (and neither are your four backup location venues), you’re going to look and feel a bit silly announcing to your friends and family they don’t need that weekend off work. Go ahead and make that announcement when you have a signed and sealed contract and you’ve already put down a deposit on your date and location.
Don’t Talk Wedding with Just Anyone
Until you know the when, where and how much money you have to spend details of your big day, try not to talk about the wedding around anyone but those who are absolutely invited no matter what (like your mom and mother-in-law for example). You never know what might happen when you break down the budget or find your dream venue. You might not have enough to pay for all the people you wanted to invite, or the space to accommodate all those people. So a good rule of thumb is wait until you know who is invited before you start talking about the wedding. You don’t want to have to tell your closest friends and family they can’t come because you already told so and so they could come and now you don’t want to hurt their feelings. That would be a bit awkward.
Don’t Invite Your Bridal Party
Seriously, unless you are getting married next week, don’t ask your bridal party to be part of the big day. For one, you might not have a date yet. You might not know when you’re getting married and you don’t want to choose these people until you have picked a date and a venue and a time and a theme and a budget and all the other good stuff you need. One of the biggest reasons for this is the way your relationships will evolve. Not to get all doom and gloom on you, but chances are good that you might lose a friend or two along the way when you’re planning your wedding. There are always people who just for whatever reason can’t be happy for you or good to you in this time. You might not think this is true of you, but it is. You have no idea who might turn into this person, who you might realize you wish you’d never asked. You might even meet new people along the way and develop a closer relationship with them than with your closest friends. It may happen; it may not. You just don’t know. So to be on the safe side, go ahead and wait to invite your friends into the wedding. It’s always a good idea to wait.
Don’t Turn Into Bridezilla
It shouldn’t be something we have to tell you, but it is something we have to tell a lot of brides. Some of us turn into major nightmares the second we get a ring on our finger. We turn into that woman. You know…that woman. We turn into the woman everyone wants to
kill avoid like the plague and not be around. It doesn’t happen to all of us, but it will happen to some. Remember that your wedding is important, but your marriage is more important. And remember that your other relationships are also more important than one day of your life. Enjoy, relax and have fun. And don’t be a raging nightmare. Though if you are one of those, you might not have to worry about inviting so many people to your wedding so you can save more money. Look at that silver lining.