12 of the Best Pieces of Wedding Advice You Will Likely Ever Hear for 2016
Advice is everywhere. It’s online, it’s on the opposite end of the phone, it comes from your friends, it comes from your family, it comes from well-meaning strangers in the supermarket and articles in magazines. When it comes to wedding planning and having a baby, everyone has advice to the point that you want to make like a toddler and cover your ears and start singing “I can’t hear you, I can’t hear you,” over and over again until they all stop. Wedding planning is stressful enough without everyone else providing their (unsolicited) advice every time you turn around.
That’s not to say that there isn’t a lot of really amazing wedding advice out there, it’s just to say that some advice is better for you than for someone else, and vice versa. What we’ve done is scour the world for the best possible wedding advice around. It’s actually good stuff, and it’s all from women – and men – who have been there and done that (as much as we love wedding planning advice from those who have never actually been married).
#12 Slow Down
My husband and I got engaged in May 2003 and married in May 2005. We took our sweet time, and not just because we were 19 and 20 when we got engaged. We took our time because we wanted to pay for our own wedding, we wanted to finish school and we wanted to build our house (though that was stressful, so I would not recommend building a home and planning a wedding at the same time, really). We wanted time to plan the perfect wedding, to save for what we wanted and to enjoy the process. We were very impatient and wanted to get married right away, but waiting made the big day so much more special and the entire process so much less stressful.
#11 Forget the Rules
If you want to take your photos together before the ceremony so you can get to partying with your people right after, go for it. If you are fine with seeing one another before the ceremony, don’t worry abou tradition or the rules or what anyone else has to say. Those who aren’t comfortable with that do not have to do it at their own wedding. It’s pretty simple, and pretty straightforward. Do what you want to do to make your day what you want it to be.
#10 Have Fun
Yes, your wedding is one of the biggest and most amazing days of your life, but it’s also one of the most fun. Forget the stress, ignore the things that are not going right (because, sorry, there are things that will not go as planned) and let it go. Make like Elsa and just let it go. You can’t help it, fix it or change it right now; so forget it. Forget it and have the most fun you’ve ever had in your life. You will appreciate that so much.
#9 Forget ‘Em
Someone once said that you can be the most amazing dessert in the world and that someone out there will still hate dessert. What that means, aside from the fact that we cannot believe there is anyone who hates dessert, is that you cannot please everyone. So, forget about them. You don’t have to please anyone. You have to please you and your soon-to-be spouse. If anyone else is not pleased with your wedding day, well, they can have their own wedding.
#8 There is No “I” in Team
However, there is an “I” in Mother-in-law, and that’s a problem. Whether it is your own mother or your husband-to-be’s mother, don’t let the families interfere with anything you have going on. This is your day. Unless they are paying for the wedding and get the final say, don’t you let anyone else get between you as you are a team. One piece of advice that we set on our wedding was this; if you have something you want to request, ask for or have during our wedding, you present it to both of us at the same time. The idea that my mom might call me and ask me to do things or that his mom might call him and try and talk him into doing things and then us ending up in an argument over the interference of our families was not an option for us.
You are a team; and there is no room for anyone else on your team. Make this a team effort and do what is best for your team. If that means you don’t want to allow your parents to invite their old college friends or work friends to your wedding, don’t let them.
I don’t care if you have to take your food and hide in the ladies room or ask your mother to keep everyone away from you for 10 minutes so that you can get some food in you; you have to eat. The last thing you want is to end up sick because everyone was congratulating you, talking to you and not giving you the time to eat the food you so desperately need to eat so that you can enjoy the night. This is especially important if you are planning on drinking on this night – eat.
#6 Take a Moment Together
One of the best things you will do on your wedding day is take a few minutes alone together before you begin the rest of the day. For us, it was a few moments after our ceremony and after our photos that we decided to sneak off and have a few minutes to sit down, marvel at the fact that we were husband and wife and that this was the first day of the rest of our lives. It gave us each a chance to admire the other, to say what we were feeling and to do a lot of laughing and giggling that we were finally married. It’s a special moment you will never forget.
#5 Focus on Your Priorities
Listen, this is a big day and there is a lot to think about. Before your list of things to do and think about and consider is so long you cannot even function, stop and ask yourself what is really important. For us, it was the music and the photographer. We wanted amazing photos and we wanted to have really good music so that everyone would get up and dance and have more fun at our wedding than we’ve ever had before in our lives. While we focused on every aspect of our wedding, we focused more than anything else on those things and we are happy we did. When you prioritize what is important to you, everything else seems so minor and insignificant.
#4 Remember the Reason for the Season
This is not just any party you’re throwing. This is the party of your entire life. What that means is that now is the time to go ahead and start planning your wedding so that it’s the most fun you will ever have. Now is the time to go ahead and start remembering that at the end of the day, nothing else matters except for the fact that you are now married. That is all.
#3 Grace, Not Perfection
This is something that is so important to live by every single day, but also on your wedding day. It is so easy to get caught up in the perfection of your wedding day that you become a sort of bridezilla and everyone kind of hates this person. Remember that it’s about grace, it’s not about perfection. Ask yourself if you are being graceful and living a life of grace when you are stressing, and fix it if you are not. Perfection is not real; but grace is. Remember this on your wedding day and you will be the happiest couple on the block.
#2 Honor Those Who Mean the Most
This is a day that’s all about you, but it’s also a chance to honor the people you love the most. For example, you might choose to honor your mothers for raising your new spouse. If you have grandparents that have been married for 50 years, honor their honor, love and commitment. If you have a child together or from a previous relationship, honor them as part of your new family. This is a day that is about you, but it’s also about the people you love the most.
#1 Remember that Life Goes On
This is your wedding day; and it’s a beautiful day. However, it’s not the only day. This is the wedding. It’s the marriage that means something to you both. Your wedding is only one day. Your marriage is the rest of your life. Be sure that you remember this when you plan, when you say your vows and when you head off on your honeymoon. Don’t forget how you feel now, but don’t spend so much time, effort and energy planning your wedding that you forget to put the same time, effort and energy into planning the rest of your life.